A Therapist’s Open Letter to her Clients

To every client who has sat in my office, 

I am writing this to you because there are a few things I want you to know. Firstly, I am proud of you. I am astounded by your resilience, humbled by your willingness, in reverence of your guts, and in awe of your bravery. For every one of you those statements are true. There were times where we laughed, mourned, celebrated, and expressed our outrage. No matter what was happening in the office during our therapy hour, know that it was an honor and a privilege to sit with you every time; I say that with sincerity.

I recognize that there is an oddity to our relationship; you know so little about me, and yet I know the depths of your biggest challenges. I want you to know I have so much respect for the stories you have shared, and the bravery it takes to show up with such authenticity and vulnerability. I hold your stories close, and from time to time, I see or hear something that reminds me of you. I wonder how you’re doing, and I pause for a moment and smile reflecting on how privileged I am to have known you and witnessed your growth. 

There is not a client who has sat across from me, that I have not come to care for. We read it all the time, “be kind, you never know what someone is going through”, “everyone has a story to tell, there’s a reason they are who they are”. These cliché sayings resonate for a few minutes, but they don’t grow deep roots in your soul. Sitting across from you, grew those roots in me. I hope that when our time came to a close, you experienced growth from our time together. I want you to know, I did too. Every client I have sat with has reminded me of how wonderful, complex, intricate, and sacred the human condition is; of how beautiful people are even at their lowest moments. 

I remember reading a book once (I can’t recall which one) and there was a sentence which read “You never know what Jesus is gonna look like when he shows up”. I always remembered that phrase and I wasn’t quite sure why. Then one day, after I finished a session with a client I journaled the following: “You never know what Jesus is gonna look like when he shows up”. And you know what he looks like right now….a middle aged black woman sat in my office who has been beaten down repeatedly by the world and her response is of course anger, and hurt, but it is also love and kindness. I would like to think the divine would respond that way. I have felt so angry for her, so infuriated with the world. BUT, I don’t need to just be angry for her, I need to learn from her.” 

You come to me for my professional skills, and we work together to accomplish your goals. There is a professionalism to our relationship, but there is also an element of sacredness in that human connection. So many of you left thanking me, but I want you to know I am grateful for you too. I am grateful you entrusted me with the gift of knowing you and working with you. My grandfather would always tell me “the greatest gift is to be seen, known, and loved”; I would respond now by saying “it is also the greatest gift to see, know, and love”. 

I hope you are well.

Niamh.